If partners do not want to spend time together, share emotions and have sex, perhaps one of them has fallen out of love with the other. It can be difficult and scary to realize this, but to tell a loved one about it is even scarier. Together with psychologist Iona Gusachenko, we figure out how love disappears, how to reflect on our experiences and whether it is possible to try to fall in love with a partner again.
There may be a feeling of emptiness, frustration, as well as irritation or even anger at your partner. When love ends, the idealization of a partner also ends. Love could smooth out conflicting moments or help find compromises. Without it, going towards each other becomes more difficult. We have to agree not so much on a sensual level as on an intellectual one.
In addition, when a person stops experiencing love, he can be scared and anxious. He may be tormented by questions about the future of relationships: “What next?”, “What should we do?” He may worry that he must make a decision that will affect the couple.
How our behavior changes when we no longer love
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We begin to avoid emotional intimacy. It becomes difficult to open up to a partner, share experiences with him, gain joint experience. But there may be a desire to share experiences and gain experience with other people.
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We want less physical contact. I don’t want to hug and kiss a partner, sleep with him in the same bed, be together in the same room or even an apartment. There may be a desire to leave home, to interact less with a partner.
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We rarely have sex. When the feelings pass, people may have less sex or not want it at all. However, there are many reasons why you do not want to have sex , it’s not always about love. For example, after years of relationship, sex may occur less frequently than at the beginning of the relationship. This is a normal situation, and if it bothers you, then you can contact a sexologist.
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We get irritated by the usual things . Rituals and traditions, like going to the theater or movies on the weekends, can get annoying. I want to ignore them or completely stop participating in them.
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We focus on the weaknesses of the partner. What once seemed insignificant can become unbearable.
How to deal with your feelings for your partner
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If you are in doubt whether you love your partner or not, then first determine what love means to you. Think about how you feel when you love someone, what you do with it, how you show your feelings. You can say it to yourself, write or draw.
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Then try to understand how you feel about your partner. Reflect and fix what emotions and feelings he evokes in you, how you are now behaving with him, how you show your feelings.
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Match your ideas of love with what you feel for your